It began with this post on Tailor's [Taylor's] College Confessions Facebook page where a confessor said "I love how guys make me comfortable on bed. <3 Am I a slut?"
The admin on duty responded: "AU: Define "make me comfortable on bed". Do you mean cuddles? If yes, then no, you are not a slut. But if you mean sex, and with many guys, then yes, yes you are a slut." and accompanied her comments with a picture.
Over the next 48 hours or so, the comments were a heated debate of feminism vs. ignorance.
I called out the admins in the comments on that post and I also personally messaged them to remove the post entirely.
Here are the responses I received in the personal message as well as my response.
I didn't respond after the last message sent because I knew that my efforts were futile.
However, the point here is the lack of knowledge as well as understanding of how words can affect a person, especially sexualised terms such as "slut" and "whore". Throughout the comment-debate, none of these admins who have been given the power of regulation and monitoring could acknowledge that they had indeed committed a mistake.
Instead, they tried to justify it saying that Asians live in a "patriarchal society" [implying as well that Caucasians don't live in a patriarchal society]. Also, they said that the picture was meant to be a "satirical" joke, including "Asians cannot understand satire" [paraphrased]. This is racist.
Also, the confessor had asked for an opinion, hence, it was justified that the admin in question called her a "slut" if she has sex and with many guys. The admin also implied that "cuddling in a bed" did not make her a slut.
They did not know what slut-shaming was and they were grasping at straws, trying to justify themselves.
In the end, they stood by their sexist and backward actions and did not remove the post.
Feminism is seen as something bad and is often criticised in an Asian society. The admins above called our anger and disagreement a "ruckus" which is evident enough. I do not blame the admins for their actions but rather their ignorance at a worldwide issue as well as the society that I come from.
Asian women, since the beginning of time, have been subjugated to men. There is also a saying in Japan that women have to walk three steps behind their husbands, which again reveals the gender bias against women’s rights as equals. [Credit]
In my observations, even today, in making decisions, Asian women turn to their husbands. A decision cannot be made without consulting the husband. My mother cannot choose to do something, for example, go shopping without asking my father if it was all right.
Japanese women and men do not mingle after work. Japanese men attend their own parties and so do women. A woman is not allowed to enter the male domain. [I cannot find hard evidence because I read this in a newspaper and I cannot locate the edition and publisher.]
While feminism is also a strange concept in Western countries, the feminist movement has progressively gotten stronger and more people are joining to support equality for all. In Asia, however, to mention that you are a feminist is to get odd looks. Not only do they not understand feminism, they do not know what feminism is.
Feminism is essentially, to want for women, the same rights as men.
As a result of our Facebook debate, the admins have labelled us feminists as "feminazis" as well as "bitter towards society". One admin even went the length to say that in Western countries like Switzerland, they could take the picture as a joke and not create a big fuss.
In Nordic countries such as Switzerland, the level of gender equality is unparalleled. [Credit] They know better than to make a "satirical joke" out of slut-shaming hence, his statement is unjustified.
It is because of our heritage and history that feminism is such a foreign concept. In fact, some Asians might even say that it is a Western ideal that we do not need.
I think otherwise. I think in Asian countries, feminism is needed the strongest. We need to pull the women out of their "historical" shells and take charge. Make a change in our own lives. Let not anyone else dictate our lives except ourselves.
And to those who ridicule feminists. Here is what I have to say:
"I am a proud feminist. And if that makes me "bitter towards society" and a feminazi, then you've got the wrong idea of feminism.
We appear "bitter" because we're game changers and those people playing the game don't want their game to be changed because they are content with seeing women get raped and abused. Children are being sold to old men as brides, children are sold into sex. These people call us "bitter" because these situations don't affect them hence they cannot feel the suffering that these women go through. Feminists and activists are trying to change this. Hence, derogatory and negative terms are used to describe us.
But has that stopped us? No.
Will it stop us? Never."
Leave a comment and let me know what you think about this situation.
Disclaimer: The contents of this post are my personal opinions. All mistakes made are my own.